I was not impressed with Koh Samui, the much lauded place was a wonderful destination if one were seeking pharmacies, bars, restaurants, hotels, custom made suits, tattoos, tour providers, money exchange, ATMs, massages and blowjobs from the extremely hot professional girls who work the pool tables in the bars, each of these are available in a endless loop, punctuated by sides streets with of German Town, Russia Town and smatterings of Swedish and Australian restaurants and sports bars edging a substandard beach. There, I got it over with in one sentence. Moving on.
Yesterday was the king’s birthday and consequently alcohol sales were prohibited, although the Australian bar served beer. I didn’t ask. In any event, the town was dead last night and I just sat in my room and read.
I had sought some snorkeling, but the boats all went to Koh Tao where there is a national marine park. Why not go there then?
This morning I walked out of the hotel and the prostitute that solicited me yesterday at six in the morning, was riding up in a scooter to meet with a customer in the lobby. Let me flash back to yesterday. I was standing on the street in front of the hotel, smoking a cigarette at six in the morning waiting for the coffee, such as it was, to be available. Coffee means near hot water and instant coffee, it’s about the only thing available anywhere. The woman drove up to her house, directly across from hotel entrance, parked her scooter and asked “Where you go? Where you go? You have wire?” I indicated I had no idea what she was talking about and she indicated her ring finger. Oh, wife. No. “I go buy oil, be right back.” No really I am just looking for a coffee.
I got my computer and went to the lobby to check my email and Facebook messages. Still no reply on that business deal. WTF? After several coffees I returned to my room to put away my computer to find a condom stretched over my room door. I summoned a maid who removed it with an ungloved hand and then washed the knob after I asked her to.
When I looked on the internet for lodging on Koh Tao, one appeared for Ko Phangam, an island that lies halfway between Koh Samui and Koh Tao. There were some bungalows in the mountains that seemed a like a nice way to get away from things and I made a reservation on airbnb.com. I informed that I would get a confirmation or a denial, probably within four hours. I decided I would go to Ko Phayam regardless and find some lodging. There were three companies within 100 feet selling tickets. I went to one and bought a one way trip, taxi and boat ride for 450 baht, about 15 dollars. That’s the last currency conversion I will give you in this post.
A taxi was to pick me up between 11:00 and 11:30. A guy showed up at 11:17 and indicated no little disgust that I wasn’t just standing there waiting for him. I shutdown the computer and put it in my bag, total delay a little less than a minute. The sky darkened and I followed him to a hot van with worn out seats, the padding material exposed at all the corners and much of the edges of the seats. I placed my backpack, camera bag and computer on the first passenger bench seat as I had been requested. Shortly thereafter we picked up a Russian couple at a five star resort and one of his suitcases was carefully laid on the seat next to my luggage. The second bag was heaved onto the top of my electronics before I could react.
A few minutes later we were at Big Buddha pier and I took a seat behind a Canadian couple and we compared notes on Thailand. They were heading to where I had just come from. I just listed the places without tendering any judgments. I hope they enjoy it. They did tell me that Trawangan, Bali was awesome and I made a note of that.
I walked over to the rails and smoked a cigarette and introduced myself to a German guy. He asked where I was headed. I describe the bungalows in the mountains and he excitedly told me that that was the type of thing he was doing. He had just spent a week at one of the two places offering lodging on Koh Phayam, places one would only find if someone were to tell him, family owned and operated and offering peace and tranquility.
Our one o’clock scheduled departure took place well after the half hour for no obvious reason. About three quarters of an hour later we arrived at our destination. In the mean time, I had exchanged several emails with the girl who was making reservations on behalf of the woman who owned the place. It turned out that the offered transportation had to be booked well in advance. It’s a small island, how hard could this be? I showed my confirmation and was shown a map of the island and was told that it had to be in this area as indicated by the place name. Where exactly was unknown. I found a book for tourists that detailed activities, restaurants and lodgings, but my intended destination was not listed. I called the number provided, the phone was not in service. Finally, I turned on images for my email, saw a map, clicked on it and google maps opened up and showed the exact location. The fare was as I was advised in my booking, 200 baht.
The Russian couple and I were the only passengers and we waited for additional fares, but by this time the dock area was cleared of any potential customers and we headed out at 3:00. About 20 minutes later the taxi driver called the bungalows and indicated that I was there. He told me that as there were only three passengers the fare was 300 baht and further that a taxi would come from the bungalows to pick me up. We watched a man poking coconuts with a pronged stick and toss them into the bed of pickup truck. The taxi driver indicated that coconut milk was very good after joy. I inquired with a thrusting right fist “Joy? Sex?” he pantomimed smoking a bong. Ahh, dry mouth. I prefer my version of joy. I paid him and he departed.
Soon an elderly woman appeared on a scooter and asked if I was going to a certain bungalow. That was not the name I had been given on my reservation, but I replied in the affirmative. She indicated that I should sit on the back of her scooter. Between me and two much stuff the additional 300 pounds the frame bottomed out. She made a phone call and indicated that a taxi would come from town. I had but a mile to go, so I started walking. I could be there in twenty minutes. On my way another old woman came and asked where I was going. Sure, wrong bungalows, but I could transfer tomorrow, it’s not my fault they don’t answer the phone at the place I reserved. We went a short ways on the concrete road before it turned to dirt. When it turned to mud, I had to get out and walk. Despite the short distance it was fairly steep and I wasn’t accustomed to carrying this much and I hadn’t quit smoking when I hit Southeast Asia, as I had intended to.
I found the place without any difficulty, dropped my bags, looked out at an expanse of jungle and chatted with a couple of elderly Thai women, one being the person who had given me the ride. I was hungry, not having eaten yet. I got a small banana one of the little sweet ones common in Panama but not available in the states. I asked for a shake and quickly received a banana shake and was then offered a bar-b-qued banana, which was delicious but not nearly enough to sate me. Hell, it was almost dinner time and I hadn’t eaten anything else all day.
The woman told me that to eat, I should rent a scooter and go back to town. Shit! I didn’t want to rent a scooter, I didn’t want to see a road much less a town. I came here to be one with nature. It turns out that normally they serve meals but that the woman’s cousin had died and she had been spending her days at the temple. There were five other guests checked in but not in evidence, they were off walking in the mountains. It turns out that they had all been there each year for many years and were going to town for takeaway three times a day. Damn..
She offered to make me fried rice, but I have been avoiding rice and offered to make me some So far, in Thailand, I have lost five micro USB cables and six pounds. The weight loss I attribute to avoiding starches and my nemesis, ice cream. Hopefully some good mountain hiking will accelerate that process, I’d like to drop another twenty. It is now 6:20, the power just went out. My computer says I have 1 hour and 52 minutes of run time. I doubt it.
My phone is running on battery power. I bought a micro USB cable yesterday and charged up the phone last night, today the batteries quickly died and it wouldn’t take a charge. Damn cable. It can’t be all three USB ports on my computer, I hope. I plugged in my Kindle. Damn, it charges. The phone is fucked. How did that happen? I haven’t been caught in the rain or dropped it in the sea.
The camera was kind of shitty, the phone did get some water in it a while ago and the camera hasn’t been up to snuff since then, when was that? Oh, yeah, when Kivia came to Bocas. Haha, just saw her a couple of days ago.
As my only source of internet is the phone and I can’t charge it, I tried to turn it off. It immediately said
[ODIN3 FACTORY]
PRODUCT: GT-S7500
VERSION: ST7500AIMC2
CUSTOM BINARY DOWNLOAD: NO
CURRENT BINARY: SAMSUNG OFFICIAL
Downloading
Do not turn off target!!!
Great, burn up what little battery power I have while downloading an operating system upgrade I don’t need over a G3 connection. I hope it finishes before the battery dies. After that, I may have a working spare battery and then I guess I have to replace the phone. I won’t be anywhere long enough to get it repaired.
The phone died, I replaced the battery with a good one, it started to boot, turned off and is now a brick. Life.
I put in a third battery. It booted, but showed no battery life and died.
I put in a fourth battery, now out of batteries and it says, charging. I don’t know.
In the end I went to bed without dinner, having had just a shake and a couple of bananas for the day.
Jonathan Allen LaFleur