Homeless By Choice

Your ass is perfect
Your breasts sublime
But yo mama, she one loud bitch.

I woke up, took a shower and decided that I’d go out for a cuppa joe. After a month of living in Panama I feel no need to change my attire daily. I wear the same pair of underwear every day. Wicking polyester with spandex; compression shorts. I wash them in the bathroom sink and wring them out in a towel and they are good to go in the morning.

A quick pat on my now not so firm right ass cheek. AaaahShit, where is the wallet? Sometimes I pull it out at night to look up a hint for a web site password or to buy things on-line. After dinner at Kun Ha’s, with Walter and Stephen I surfed the web a little, replied to some emails and I went to bed, that was what, maybe 11?

Not on the desk, not on the kitchen counter. Where is my notebook computer? I was using it right here on the kitchen table last night. Yup here is the cat5 cable. Oh shit. The camera, the other notebook. Fuck somebody took my wallet out of my pants that were on the foot of the bed while I slept there. Front door is locked, worthless barrel bolt in place.

The window in the kitchen is not latched. The moulding is missing. Mutha Fuka stripped the mullion and popped the latch, then stole me computers and camera. Left lots of valuable stuff, but came into the room in which I was sleeping and took my wallet. Ballsy bastard

I woke, got out of bed, dragged a comb across my head.

Need coffee. I patted my right cheek. WTF? Maybe I left it next to the computer; where’s the computer… where’s my camera? Oh shit.

I was robbed a burglar pried the moulding off the kitchen window, sprung the latch stole the electronics from the kitchen counter top and then came in my bedroom and took the wallet out of my pants lying on the chair at the foot of my bed while I slept there.

Long day, filing complaint with police, inquiring with the nefarious characters in town.

Smithsonian Institute

I headed out with my newly repaired camera with the intent of checking it out at the Smithsonian Institution. It had been raining on and off all the previous night and all morning, so I packed a big zip lock bag for my camera. I started my trek around 2:40 and it quickly became apparent that I wasn’t going to get there by 3:00 so I hailed a cab and arrived at 2:55. It was hot and muggy as I waited for the tour to begin. At 3:05 I asked the guard if I was to go in the building my self, where was this tour? He made a phone call and I waited.

I went out front and took a picture of the plaque, the english text of which follows:

Plaque content

The Smithsonian Institute was founded in Washington, DC in 1846 after a british scientist, James Smithson, left an inheritance “…to the United States of America to found at Washington, an establishment for increase and diffusion of knowledge among men.” Since then the museum has grow to include 19 museums, 9 research centers and the National Zoological Park located in Washington. D.C.

Size of site: 6 hectares
Laboratory building inaugurated in 2003.
The build in environmentally friendly with solar panel roof, rainwater collector and natural lighting.

More time was killed by walking around the front area taking pictures.

At 3:10 my guide showed up and we proceeded to walk down the path where he pointed out mimosa pudica a
plant that folds up its leaves when disturbed. It happens amazingly quickly considering that it is a plant, less than a second. I’m guessing a grazing animal disturbing it would cause it to “shrivel up” and appear much less lush.

Panama has three types of sloths, the two toed, the three toed and the pygmy three towed.
There are eight known three toed and two two toed sloths in the park. As it is fenced off and there are no trees near the fences that reach adjacent property, the prospects for the two toed seem a bit dicey and the pygmy is not likely to materialize.

Interesting information on sloths.

We observed a few birds, notably …

Then we went inside the research facility, took several glasses of chilled water and I was pointed to the “donations jar”. It said that $5 would bring a class full of kids to the center. I got the hint and deposited a $5 into the jar, tripling the value of its contents.

Out the back door were endless shelves that last year held 250 terrariums for a research project on the oophaga pumilio frog. This frog is known by a great many names based on the color and location. The research was an attempt to figure out why there were so many color variations.

At this point I was told several things that contradict information I have read elsewhere including:

Poisonous specimens come in the following colors:

• Red, with blue feet and a spot on the back
• Green with yellow belly and spots on the back
• Blue with black spots on the back.

and that others are far less poisonous. I’ve been told that the effect handling the frogs and touching the lips is a temporary numbness. It is my understanding the original source of the frogs poison is the alkoloids from plants; the frogs feed on insects which feed on these plants. The frogs of different colors are in different locales, but I don’t know that the plant diversity is that great on neighboring islands. I was told that

• Green with black spots from Bocas Island (Isla Colon)
• Red comes from Isla Solarte
• Bastimentos has a huge variety of colors including
  pink, yellow, white, purple, yellow with white

Bastimentos is famous for its red frogs and one of the most popular destinations in Bocas is Red Frog beach. One of the curators came to tell us that he had spotted a 3 toed sloth with an infant so we went off to photograph it. I’d never seen an infant sloth before. As we returned to continue our path 4 Northern Jacana crossed the path, two adults and two juveniles. The guide told me that the smaller adult was the male and that the male protected the young. Sure enough as we continued down the trail pappa and the two juveniles skittered one way and mamma went off on her own, but still watching them with interest. We wandered the trails looking for sloths and monkeys; there is a small troop of howler monkeys in the confines, but didn’t see anything. A small snake scurried across the path and was identified as a “road snake”. I’ve never heard of such a thing and can’t find any reference on the web. A small enclosure marked “Bat Home” sat empty in the jungle. The enclosure had been completed for months before and was to be used by a group from the University of Wisconsin in the forthcoming months. Hmmm, it’s snowing in Wisconsin now. How did this timing come about? A quick walk to the dock followed a discussion on identification of the various types of Mangrove, all of which were growing within 4 meters of the sign describing their characteristics. Mangroves are the filters of the tropics, but people don’t like them as the block the water view from shore and they harbor chitras, tiny biting fleas. That concluded the trip. I was told by the guide that he had 4 other tours of the facility, I’m not sure how this is possible.

I was thinking of buying a motorcycle and touring Panama, but I don’t think I’ll shoot to cross the Darien Gap.

http://www.motivation-tools.com/adventures/darien_gap.htm

Yo: Por favor avise mr. Gómez, que el dinero fue transferido a través de Western Union ocho uno seis cero cuatro cero uno …

Ella: Sr. Jim de la cámara estará lista en wed nez dee.

Wednesday? Awesome. Back in the photography game.

The big guy from Minnesota had a visitor last night. At 3:15 somebody came through the kitchen window tangled his foot in the curtains, fell to the floor and fled back out the window.

I told him this was just something to write home about and it beats being in Minnesota in “almost December”. He agreed.

Dumb Ass: What are those vegetables?
Me: Chilis
Dumb Ass: What?
Me: Peppers
Dumb Ass: I love peppers. (Pops a few in mouth and bites)
Me: Those are habanero peppers. Panama is known to grow the hottest in the world.
Dumb Ass: (&%#@#$( (&U#@^^ !@#!@#

An associate of a friend of mine picked up a whore and took her to his place.

Sixty years old, white haired, fat, deaf as a stump.

Hmmm. She slipped him a mickie and 12 hours later he woke up with….

Nothing

Cell phone, wallet, $4,000 cash (extra credit dumbass points for that) and the rest of his eight ball… gone.

What the hell? How stupid can you be?