Homeless By Choice

Panama City is a study in contrasts.

The tap water is potable, the ocean water is sewage.

Sky scrapers in el centro (downtown). Restoration in old Panama.

No trash, no horn honking, no metal banging, next to no beggars.

Casinos and whores but no overt sleaze.

I wish I had the correct lenses and filters on my little trip with Ricardo today.

Speaking of Ricardo. My Milanese acquaintance is under the impression that he is going to arrive in Bocas Town, Isla Colon, Bocas del Toro, Panama, take a water taxi to Bastimentos Town and hike to a camping ground of some dude at some unknown location posted by an unknown guy on the internet.

I tried to tell him, there are unpassable regions, swamps, a few camains and that is just from Bastimentos Town to Red Frog Beach.

“Ricardo, you will need knee high rubber boots, a compass, a machete, 3 liters of water per day, a hammock, food. No there is no road. There are no cars. Yes I know for a fact, I don’t care what that putz just told you, I hiked it two months ago, You don’t even know where this fictional character lives.” You’ll have to go inland. It’s really muddy, the soil is clay and steep. It rains a lot. You can start in Bastimentos town, follow the walk to the cemetary and see if you can find the trail. The Ngobi boys will watch you for a while, bring some money and they might bring you back. No chance in hell you are going to make it to Salt Creek.”

Panama City is a study in contrasts.

The tap water is potable, the ocean water is sewage.

Sky scrapers in el centro (downtown). Restoration in old Panama.

No trash, no horn honking, no metal banging, next to no beggars.

Casinos and whores but no overt sleaze.

I wish I had the correct lenses and filters on my little trip with Ricardo today.

Speaking of Ricardo. My Milanese acquaintance is under the impression that he is going to arrive in Bocas Town, Isla Colon, Bocas del Toro, Panama, take a water taxi to Bastimentos Town and hike to a camping ground of some dude on the internet.

I tried to tell him, there are unpassable regions, swamps, a few camains and that is just from Bastimentos Town to Red Frog Beach.

“Ricardo, you will need knee high rubber boots, a compass, a machete, 3 liters of water per day, a hammock, food. No there is no road. There are no cars. Yes I know for a fact, I don’t care what you read on the internet, I hiked it two months ago, You don’t even know where this fictional character lives.” You’ll have to go inland. It’s really muddy, the soil is clay and steep. It rains a lot. You can start in Bastimentos town, follow the walk to the cemetary and see if you can find the trail. The Ngobi boys will watch you for a while, bring some money and they might bring you back. No chance in hell you are going to make it to Salt Creek.”

I had inquired about a park in the canal zone that had six hours of guided hiking in the jungle in the canal zone. Closest thing the desk clerk knew was Summit Park. Cab far each direction was discounted to $20, its a long and not terribly interesting story. Admission to the park was $1. That was a fair price. Not a great place. Mowed lawns and animals behind fences.

I had to guide the taxi driver to my hostel/hotel and when I got out there was a bang and the f***ing camera was on the ground with the lens cap across the street. G** D*** F****** C****, M***** F****** !#&#@$!^(. One frigging day. I retrieved the lens cap and tried to take a picture and the camera displayd “No Lens Attached.” Now I was really pissed. I took the lens off, reattached it and only got one of the 11 focal points illuminated. I took a picture, put it in auto mode 7 out of 11, what the hell? This thing is working. Then I walked up the five flights of stairs to my room for the eigth time of the day, dropped off my backpack and walked around downtown taking pictures.

This was a no brainer. I returned my car at DFW airport, got a shuttle to terminal C. Bought U.S. News special report on Dan Brown’s latest best seller then bought the book at full retail. Waited around for two hours. My flight left on time. Got to Miami, two hour layover, bags checked through. Got to Panama City.

I stopped at the information desk they recommended “The Jungle” in Panama City. A $28 cab ride later I was in downtown Panama in a hostel. “The bars are 2 blocks that way, the bad girls are two blocks that wway and “, (glancing at the security monitor), “the pretty girls are oon their way up.”

Got a single room with air for $40 and was by far the oldest person in the place. I’m beyond this end of this fishing pond. Everybody was friendly though. I walked into the bathroom, which had a curtain for a door and a hard body in her early twenties was blow drying her hair in her black lacy panties and bra. I excused myself, she said, it was ok, it’s a shared bathroom. I thought that meant one at a time. Whatever.

The night clerk told me about Summit Park when I was inquiring about a park in the Canal. I walked down the street to a wine bar and had chicken
lasagna and pasta fagioli (bean soup). A quick walk through the casino confirmed that I am still not a casino guy.

Bocas to Dallas

Synopsis

I have a huge amount of luggage, many transfer points a small amount of cash, no credit cards or debit cards. This is a really bad trip.

12/21

17:00

My landlord called a taxi for me and I two duffle bags and two suitcases and put them in the bed of the truck. I dont know why these guys drive 22 MPG trucks, cruise all day and take fares. We hadn’t gone 30 feet when he stopped to pick a nady and here teenage daughter.

I asked her if she was coming to Dallas with me and she just gave me a big grin and said “Yeah”. The driver asked if this was a Christmas treat for my son. Hell no, he get plenty by himself.

I showed up at BMT, the water taxi company and the bags were placed on a little boat, that was full. The luggage jammed against legs and he took off like a bat out hell. The pounding my back was getting was only marginally offset by the effects it had on young mother sitting next to me. She had a cushion, I was sitting on a hard wood seat. She kept stealing glance after a particularly bad bounce. I was stealing glances when they were less painful. After half an hour of this. We got to the docks and I hoisted out four 60 pound plus bags. I know this but we’ll get to that later. This kid was around 17 and couldn’t have weighed more than 140 pound. He picked two bags, another guys threw on a third and the kid took running laughing upp a flight of stairs. I took my back and the remaining rolling suitcase and strolled up the ramp.

17:00

The taxi ride to the bus stop was about 5 minutes. Then I transferred them all to a spot on the sidewalk. The guy loading them on the bus grunted with each bag and handed me four checks. Checkin was a hand printed list of names for whom tickets were sold I pointed to mine, she checked off when I showed her my ticket.

Now for the posturing, I grabbed the second seat scooted over a little toward the aisle, swung my fanny toward the aisle, put my back in front of the aisle seat put back my head and closed my eyes. If the bus wasn’t sold out I should be ok. After the bus took I looked around and there were 2 empty seats. There were several really hot woman that it would have been nice to share a seat with.

This whole boarding process could not have taken more than 10 minutes.

Some inscrutable about some guy who turns himself into a robot and flies around played. All spanish dialog with Spanish subtitle. The Panamanian in front was wearing a knit cap and a jacket. I had my air on full.

We stopped around 8 for food every body ran out. I just had an apple and a bottle of water. Then we droned on, mile and mile. Its about 250 miles and its a 10 hour trip. The just jammed into the small of my back. And we droned and people snored. About midnight we stopped at a gas station and the driver performed some mysterious operation to the engine with dishwashing soap. Maybe was checking for leaks. No food or water to be seen. I was beginning to regret not having bought more water. And the bus droned inexorably east.

About 1 in the morning we stopped another chinese cafeteria that caters to buses and stocked.

I read half the jungle to a flashlight I carry in my back. Most everybody was sleeping.

05:00

About 5 in the morning we got to the bus station in Panama City. Within a minute a guy was asking me if I wanted a taxi to the airport. Sure lets go. I was just going take two bags and backpack and let him carry the other two. He insisted we needed a cart. Well it was a long treck. One in the trunk three in the back seat. My backpack on my lap and off we go. Now I’m seeing the landscape from last half hour played backwards. Half the people on the bus were going to the airport. Couldn’t they have made a stop on the way in?

Then there was some weirdness, I gave the driver the nominal $20 he said it was $30 and took $10 from the baggage guy. Then he wallked maybe 3O feet and put the bags down my the ticket counter. I gave $3, he said it is a dollar a bag and had 5 bags, then told me I owed him the 10 bucks he loaned me.

There were 30 people in line ahead of me and the ticket clerks weren’t there yet. Finally they showed and the line started to move really slow. There is a $50 overweight for bags that weight over fifty pounds. They put the bag on the scale, be informed of this and then start rearranging their luggage.

So much to do. My pool table, jet skis and ATVs, that 18′ 5000 pound rated dual axle trailer the DR mower,brush hog.

Southlake will be so glad to be rid of me. How many parties had the cops and the fire department? Oh yeah the ambulance. That’s when I was there. When the boys had the run of the place? Guess I’ll never know but I’ve heard reports of 15 visits a week.

Bought the last seat on tomorrow’s bus to Panama. Adios Bocas. How long can I stay in San Blas after I get back? No internet, no electricity no animals, no plumbing. It’s Gilligan’s Island without Mary Anne. Then the south to the Pacific. Wish Pat would teach me the ropes.

Gotta pack where are the binocs? Oh shit I left them in the Casa Verde office. It’s closed locked where are my lock picks? Two deadbolts and locking handset 42 seconds.

he: Can I tell you something interesting about the bible?
me: Patrick, you chose the wrong guy I know it better than you ever will and I know it is bullshit,
Patrick: How do know my name?
me: I’m the son of Satan. No, really you are the only son of that woman standing across the street and you are Irish.
Patrick: How do you know that?
me: I am Satan. I lied but the devil does shit like that. You are kidding, right? It’s obvious she dotes on you her eyes don’t waver, should I believe this god fearing woman left a sibling to fend for himself? She is a kind and gentle person. Her stature says that. And look at you. Could you be more Irish? Where are you from Wisconsin or Minnesota? You got here yesterday right? BMT or Taxi 25?

By this time the kid was freaked. Just observations and deductions.

I could tell by the clothes they did not fly in and there are only two water taxis to the main land so, how could I be wrong?