After several false starts we decided today was to be the to go to retrieve my chairs from Customs. One bud was in Almirante, the other headed to catch a nine o’clock boat to Almirante. I scurried out the door and managed to find a cab. Arriving in Almirante we called, Walter, who had previously arrived and checked the car out of the car lot. In short order we assembled and were off. A quick stop in Changinoula for breakfast and we resumed our trip to the frontier.
I walked into the customs office to see my chairs in boxes exactly where I had left them. This 300 square foot office held five desks, two filing cabinets an empty high priced enclosed computer rack and my two chairs in boxes. I presented my receipt which had been electronically sent to me from Matias in Fortuna. I was advised that everything over $100 had to clear customs.
“I have two chairs at $100 apiece, can’t I bring in one and he bring in the other?” “No, they are on the same receipt.” I muttered, “what happened to the good old days when a twenty could fix anything?” The office manager laughed out loud. I was advised that I would have to take my receipt back to Costa Rica to get it stamped. A customs guy eagerly volunteered to escort me. As we walked back across the bridge he advised me that he was looking forward to August 31, some Black Pride day parade in Limon, Costa Rica. He went in great detail about how great the parades were and the fact that he was going to build a float. A few minutes later we found ourselves in Costa Rica and he presented my receipt and requested an export stamp. During the bantering he told me “don’t give me any money here” after I asked him if he wanted me to get him some water when I went out to find some way to hydrate. After twenty minutes of discussion the receipt was stamped and we headed back. I handed him three dollars for his efforts and we were back on the Panama side. He also told me the duty free shop had anything I could want at substantial discount and that I could take as much of anything I wanted into Panama. Very strange, Duty Free, this shop was in Panama. He also told me that Panamanians couldn’t shop there.
I presented the stamped document, the office manager looked at it for several minutes and asked for my passport, both were handed to a clerk who started to enter information into a computer. Time passed. More time passed. An eternity passed. I was advised that the system was slow. I walked outside and took some pictures of prohibited items including machine guns, sub machine guns, grenades, rocket launchers and bazookas. These Panamanians just don’t know how to have a good time.
Duty Free
I suggested we kill some time shopping at the duty free. It had anything you could want, if you wanted giant truck tires, liquor, beer, the sole model of car radio they carried, an electric skillet or a pressure cooker. A pressure cooker! That was on my list of things to buy today. A paper sticker on top indicated the price as $40. I rotated the box up to see the front. A clerk came and put the box back in the original position. I rotated it up again and gave him a half kidding half WTF look. He left it. I took the box over to the cashier and paid the $40. Walter suggested that I take the pot out of the box, discard the plastic wrapper. The clerk advised I should throw away the receipt in case I got stopped by the cops. WTF?
Back inside it became obvious that the clerk was stumped. Back outside to ogle the eye candy migrating to and from Costa Rica. A tall blonde wore a skirt that could only have been applied with an airbrush. A hundred people where in the queue, attended to by a single bored government clerk who spoke no English, though most of the travellers spoke little or no Spanish.
After being approached by the overly helpful customs official for the fourth time my friend Walter told me, “Jim, I have a picture of him, leading the Bocas Independence Parade, in knee high leather boots, tight shorts and twirling a baton.” Ayaaah!
I went back inside to observe the clerk. She was on the phone. In front of here were five telephone numbers, four of them very similar and crossed out. She was obviously calling for assistance. For ninety minutes she has been trying to fill out a computer form for two chairs, ostensibly valued at $90 each. I watched her go through the motions twice, error messages popping in dialog boxes that were closed, random agitated cursor movements that accomplished nothing, mouse movements that caused the cursor to trace the words she was reading. Finally I could take it no longer. Observing a little more closely it was obvious that she was running a java applet, almost certainly oracle forms version 9 or greater. I asked her to try again, slowly. Finally I spotted that in one field she was typing ‘cr’ presumably for ‘Costa Rica’ and that this was not an acceptable value for the field. As the field was a pulldown list, I cleared her entry and clicked on the pulldown, displaying a list of descriptions and corresponding codes that made up the allowable values. I finally told her to select option 8 and she managed to complete the process. I was heralded as a genius. Christ, is this the only time anybody has actually declared an item in this office? Five people, five days a week for this?
Five copies of a bill for $47.40 on a declared value of a little less than $200. Seven percent of this was sales tax, the rest duty. I was handed a copy and told to pay at the bank and return. “At the bank? Is there a bank in this town? (In Spanish)” No, the bank is bank in Changiunola. Walter looked like he had just taken a big bite of a bile sandwich when I told him. I scurried out the door. Half way down the hill I was hailed having left my passport in my haste.
Bank
Off to Changiunola we found the HSBC. The guard wanted to inspect my backpack. I opened one of five zippers to reveal a pressure cooker. This elicited no surprise from the guard. Apparently large cooking appliances that could readily be employed as a very large pipe bomb type device are commonly carried into banks. He didn’t ask to look in any of the other compartments and as there were obviously several pounds of metal didn’t bother with the metal detecting wand. He did make me remove my hat before entering, which I put back on as soon as I passed through the doors.
There were two lines, one with about fifty old people and another with seventeen young to middle aged people. The elderly and pensionados are by law afforded expedited service. I calculated the average service time as about five minutes and figured I’d be in line for an hour and a half. Finally I got to the front, presented my document and payment and received a stamped document indicating the tax had been paid.
Guabito
I presented my form to the office manager. She had several more forms to give me. I told her I had no desire or need for all of these documents, I was merely going to throw them out. She advised me they would come in handy if the chairs were stolen. No, if the chairs are stolen, I’ll never see them again. A picture of the chairs might come in handy. Twenty minutes later five copies of another six pages were printed out, signed, stamped and distributed.
Jesus, Son of God. I took my chairs and we put them in the van.
Back to Changiunola
Hardware store, rope 5/8 braided nylon $1.50 a foot, welders, locks.
Left buying nothing.
Fence Material
Happening by a lot with a living fence, I availed myself of several branches, liberated with the aid of a machete that hadn’t ever had a close encounter with a competent hand bearing a file. Much hacking later I had a huge bunch of branches. When these branches are stuck in the ground, they will take root and sprout. As time passes the fences become stronger.
Off to Chinese, enormous quantities of food.
Boat Shopping
We passed a yard in which boats are restored. Stephen, who has as his mission the goal of owning every boat in Bocas not actually under power at the time wanted to add to his flotilla of inoperable boats. The prices requested exceeded anything Stephen felt he could acquire the boats for and sell at a profit. I received a quote for prepping and painting the boat I am to acquire with the new house. While Stephen roamed around like a kid in a candy store, I played with a puppy, chained up and sorely lacking attention. I inquired and was told he was not for sale. I then inquired if the owner of the bitch had any other puppies. The guy told told Walter with a laugh that I could have the dog for $100, knowing full well that no one would pay that much for a dog. WRONG! With a look of shock on his face he happily took the $100 and found a knife to cut loose the chain, bound by a heavy rope that secured the dog to its spot. The collar end of the chain was fitted with a chain coupler, bolted into place. Poor thing. I walked around with the dog as it evaluated its new found liberty with exuberance. Finally we reentered the car, now laden with sundry including seven five gallon buckets, a mass of tree limbs, two rocking chairs in large boxes,a backpack with a pressure cooker in it and a dog.
Bocas trip
A the water taxi our booty elicited some strange looks. The boat was loaded and we headed back home to be greeted by Flaco, a local loco, loaded up the caro rojo diablo, a rattling little claptrap continually on the verge of returning its constituent parts to mother earth, dropped by my apartment and unburdened a variety of objects while the dog stayed out front and urinated on my freshly bought dried pinto beans.
Casa Verde Dog
Time for a little socializing, my dog, as of yet unnamed sniffed around all the bitches, but bore little patients for the dogs. Cute little thing is a chick magnet.
I am not going to bother rereading this once. If it is a bit incoherent, at least I related something. I have much to do today.
Jonathan Allen LaFleur