Homeless By Choice

How did Eladio know where I live?  One of life’s mysteries.

I wouldn’t shake his hand, he did not understand.  I invited the girls up to the house, they seemed embarrassed at the prospect.  We walked up to the house and Eladio and I sat on the couch.  The girls stood until directed to sit down.

Eladio wanted to draw up a bill of materials for a dock.

100 Poste
125: pies de 10
Madera de sapatero 
65 x pies 
1850 pest


He handed over, that was it.

What the fuck?  Ok time to decipher.

I need 100 posts, sounds reasonable considering the length of the dock.
$125 a foot.  Hmmm he must mean $1.25 a foot.
That would make the madera $.65 a foot and I need 1850 feet of it.

Ok I created a spreadsheet with the numbers so the he could understand and agree to the dollars but he didn’t have a clue what it meant.  My Spanish horrible as it is surpasses his English but I did manage to say this is the cost of the posts he did the calculations by hand at an commendable rate and the numbers matched.  Next the madera, which is the type of wood to be used on the planks.  Same thing.  Ok we are at about $2,400 in materials, seems quite reasonable for a 180 foot dock.  Labor $500.  Quite reasonable for a 150 dock.  A friend of mine paid $13,000 for a 100 foot dock.  Of course his has concrete posts and will last indefinitely these posts have a life expectancy of twelve years.

He was delighted when I agreed without negotiation.  As he trusts me they had already started cutting the posts. Then he asked how much money I had in the house.  What the fuck?   You think I am going to answer that?   He is such a sweet guy that this was surely a language barrier thing.   I called a friend who talked to Eladio.  There is a $500 down payment.  Well I don’t have $500 with me.  Turns out he just wanted a few bucks in advance right now so he could eat.  I gave a $20 and we agreed to meet tomorrow at the real estate office.

He gave me another one of his winning smiles and again wanted to put my mitt into his paw but I pointed to the scabs all over my arms and shook my head.   They walked down to the dock and silently but quickly disappeared around the bend.

In to town another TropicGas propane tank, a hot water heater, a water  pump, an amazing number of pieces to adapt the pump to the water lines.  In the US it would be one piece but the stores here carry far fewer fitting parts so you do a “This gozinta that then this gozinta that” until you’ve created a long string that finally has the corrrect fitting on the end.   Works out for the stores I guess, they don’t have to stock many fittings and when you want to do something you end up buying five times as much.

I’ll make this short.  We got the hot water heater installed uneventfully.  The pump was more problematic. The shutoff switch, a separate component is also fried.  Need to get another one tomorrow.  But damn! Do I have some water pressure.  Awesome.  To take a shower all I have to do is turn on the taps run out, plug in the pump run back shower, run out turn off the pump run back shut off the shower.

Doesn’t matter I’m really close.  The refrigerator is cooling.  The stove is blasting out heat.  The hot water heater rocks.   I guess I need another propane tank.  I am giving each appliance its own tank.  Right now I have two sitting in my kitchen. One of them I will 

Within five minutes they had moved two convertible couches, a dining table, six chairs and two end tables onto the deck.   A big bucket, one of those stringy mops I hate in the absence of a wringer bucket the woman mopped like her life depended on, passed it to the kid who would take it outside and wring it out so that the dirty water wouldn’t mix with the soapy clear water. There, that didn’t take long.  The kid brushed off and washed all the chairs and the table while mother washed dishes in a cooler (I have no running water).  Scrub down the kitchen counters.  Attack the bathroom.  “You need a woman to take care of you at all times.” “I know.” “I have no husband.”  Oops, you are not my type and you have five kids.

Mop the entire deck all the way around the house.   Sort out groceries, make smoothies. She kept flirting with me the whole time.

 It was a whirlwind of activity for four hours.  I was so pleased I offered her a twenty, at prevailing Panamanian wages this was worth about six dollars for the half day for the woman but the kid had been busting his ass so make twelve.  Whatever, here, have a tip.

Then things got strange.  She told me her usual rate was $160 but she would only charge me $100.  What the fuck?   Then she went down to $80 and told me she would give me a discount on the next job.  Is this a joke?  Ok, fifty but that’s the lowest I can go.   Then we argued for half an hour, Tito her brother was telling me that it’s the time its the size of the house and this is a really big house.  My house is 800 square feet.  I have a friend with 3,500 square foot house that pays $12 to get it cleaned and the woman works for eight hours.  “Ok, I’ll take the $20 today, you can pay me the rest tomorrow when I come to clean out the refrigerator.”  Look crazy, you are not coming back.

As they departed she was yelling and screaming at Tito all the way down to the boat.  I could hear her

A doctor came out and consulted with me for half an hour telling me that I was severely malnourished. I would need somebody to look after me, get me some proper nutrition and my strength would return.  Having no family here I asked Tito if he could find a girl to come to my house and cook.  Now the refrigerator and stove are broken and I have no running water.  These should all be fixed on Monday.  After a month of searching I have found a highly recommended handyman thanks to one of the Bocas groups on Facebook.  Done with the hospital.  Cost for treatment and drugs?  Thirty bucks.

Bought lots of fruits and veggies.

Well, maybe we should buy another stove anyway as I will need one at the resort.  Off to the hardware store.  Here, this looks like a flame throwing three burner.  You get some awesome cooking power with little cast iron stoves, things that will throw off a lot more heat than my $600 stove.   A leg fell off, it was miscast.  A new one was found and Shakey tried to install it by removing a bolt using a flat head screwdriver in a phillips head and a wire cutter on the nut.  Come on, its a hardware store, don’t you have a wrench or socket and a phillips head screwdriver.  After watching this idiocy for ten minutes I told Shakey that somebody would be in tomorrow to pick it up.

Tito volunteered to care for me and told me he would find a girl to clean the house.  His brother, Fernando came and the three of us headed to my house where they carried the stuff up.  I gave Tito $200 and a big shopping list of food and cleaning supplies.

They left in my boat to return tomorrow with a large amount of food, cleaning supplies and a stove.

I searched for four hours for my passport.  In the process, organizing and throwing out a bunch of crap, too much clutter here.  Conclusion?  The passport will never be seen again.

So, I will be home bound for a while as I recover.  Wish me luck.

The dog, will I take your dog?  No I don’t need another dog.  I don’t want another dog.  You are leaving town tomorrow and have no home.  Oh, what the hell, if she is over a year old spayed and has her shots, I  will take her in.

Four Indians came by.  Just an hour or two’s paddle for various reasons.  One to give me a quote on a boat house.  My Spanish is embarassingly bad.  Yup a 30 foot by 15 foot boat house with concrete posts in PVC in the water and membrillo uprights, Nispero deck and a metal roof.  I think he understood.  Maybe I will get a hamster hut.

Thanks for the dogs.  I had time to put some clothes on.  I don’t know why I bothered to take them off all of these times.  It just seems so right to be naked.  The temperature is perfect, I am in the shade.

Then the guy from whom I am buying the land took a water taxi to my house and asked if I could give him another $200.  What the hell?  Off to town, to the ATM and gave him some cash.  Dinner at the Riptide.  Well, I’ve given up on the girl I desire most so what the hell, let’s see if I can shake up a little action.  Two embarrassingly young Chinese girls.  No, inappropriately young.  Younger than the girl my youngest son is dating.  Too young to have any discussions with. Oh, what the hell, just a little eye candy, I wouldn’t touch ’em.  “You want to go on a boat ride to Loma Partida on Tuesday?”  Well, they spoke not a word of English.  The guy next to me translated.  He told them, I think, “If you would like to go on a boat ride and hike through some jungle, this guy is giving you a chance.  You will be gone just after dawn and be back at sunset.” “Sure, here is my facebook account.”  Why did I even ask?  A buxom dutch 25 year old blonde looked at me and said, “Why didn’t you ask me?”  “Well, I was sitting next to them. I didn’t want to yell across the bar, but you are more than welcome.” This little hottie well,  I could spend some time with her.  Then a 27 year old raven haired Wwede said, “Do you have room for more?”  Ahh for you, shit, I’d kick all the rest to shore. “Sure.”  Bocas, thanks.

Best burger in Bocas then back home.

6:00 This morning. What the fuck? Why are my water tanks empty? Where is the water going? Yesterday I needed to replace the hot water heater. Hot water is a luxury, at ambient temperature one can shower in it. Water is not. I have to pick up a new refrigerator today. Nothing like seas with a refrigerator on the deck of the boat. Water’s usually calm in the morning, but I can’t pick up a refrigerator by myself. No dolly’s, pick up the refrigerator and place on boat. Then up 100 steps to the house and carry the one that is waiting on a part back down to the dock.

Forget getting volunteers, I’ll get a boatload of Indians out from Loma Partida on a 42′ dugout canoe. They can clear all the land in a day at my house. No time for dicking around.

Bird Island? I headed south on the eastern side of Isla Colon in the open Caribbean. The seas were relatively calm but the four foot swells disconcerted Danielle so I headed back. The previous owner of my boat flipped it once on the way to my intended destination. The engine was replaced before I bought it.

Back to town, burgers at Casa Verde.

The kids wanted to find accommodations for New Year’s Eve in town. This is a hopeless cause. We walked every street inquiring at every hotel, hostel and pension. Nobody had a room nor knew of anybody who did. We had already experienced four or five hours of intense tropical sun now we were walking the streets of Bocas. The sun is no more intense but with buildings blocking the breeze and asphalt streets its a whole heck of a lot hotter. We were all beginning to melt down. Finally I asked somebody to call Ola’s and check. Yes, they had one room left. Mark set off at a fast jog while Danielle and I trudged. He found that the room rate was $85 and didn’t want to pay that much. A local came out and started to talk to them about finding a room for them. I turned around and looked at him, “Oh it’s you, you’re like a father to me, Senior Jim.” I have no idea who this guy is. He suggested some hotel off the top of his head had a room. Ok, call it. No, we have to go there. This is the scam, they show you to a hotel and get a commission. Last frigging time. This time we went on the boat and as expected, they had no room he was just hopeful.

We provisioned and headed home. By the way, rehydrating with Cuba Libre is not a great idea.