Author Archives: txherper@gmail.com

Lazy Day

We finally got a break in the weather.  I took Nola to Los Secretos, but somehow Casa Verde had outbid the band that agreed to be there.  The place is lovely but it was dead quiet.  We dropped by to visit some neighbors, who were smitten by her.  We had a brief walk in the jungle, then her friend from Denmark, living in San Jose, Costa Rica called.

We went to town to pick her up and get some supplies so Nola could bake some cookies.  Clyde and I left the girls with Verne and went off to make veggies, sauteed shark and fried green bananas.  This was the only time I had fried green bananas that I liked.

A late dinner and an invite to come back tomorrow to go through Clyde’s collection of photos.  These things sound awesome.  So a little jungle trekking and some sitting around shooting the shit followed hopefully by some snorkeling.  Just a lazy weekend.

House Guests

Last week a workaway volunteer from Germany was to come to my house to plant some fruit trees.  He wandered the streets, drunk at three in the morning, got mugged and robbed.  I lent him some money.  He felt that it was my obligation to run him around to clean up his mess.  I helped him out and in exchange he was disinclined to do any work.

The only Western Union office in Bocas was shut down indefinitely due to a robbery.  He “didn’t feel like” going to Almirante to go to the Western Union office to get his money and then return to pay me back.  He made partial restitution with a meek apology.

This week I have been swamped, two twenty eight year old women from Switzerland from Couch Surfers,  a twenty six year old blonde from California and I am hosting an exceptionally pleasant woman from Brooklyn who creates sets for televisions and movies.   I took her to Casa Verde last evening, it was closed as it always is on Thursday, but the usual crew was there, tearing the place up anyway.  While Nola was besieged by a swarm of rabid drunks I went for a walk with a little cutie from Argentina, jacqualyn. If the weather is nice I will will take Jacqualyn and Nola on short tour, making sure to drop by my friends’ house, the grounds always awe guests, go snorkelling and visit red frog beach.  I am sure I will get my usual, “Jim, keep bringing over groups of beautiful women.”  Now Brandy my ex roomie wants to go.  

I was awakened this morning to the roar of chainsaws on the lot next door, my boat is reluctant to go into gear and my propane refrigerator is on the fritz.

There is always something going on.

A Day in Bocas Town

A dog died from eating rat poison.  Conflicts over running a restaurant.  Rumors and innuendo.  Helping a woman walk her bike down a three foot gentle ramp because she was too hungover at three p.m. to pull it off herself.  

Pleased with the new prop.  Changed the engine oil on the boat.

Hung out for dinner.

Shopped, back to get boat, ran into a former room-mate, talked with her for a while.  A distraught extremely drunk person walked over lamenting his woes and rebuffs.

“Dude, that boat is crashing into your boat, smashing the cowling.”  The cowling is the engine cover, they cost $1,000.  Yup, some dickhead had improperly tied his boat right behind mine and it had smashed into my outboard, making a huge crack in the cover.  I started to move the other boat.  “What fuckhead owns this boat?”  “That’s mine.”  “Yeah, you smashed my cowling.”  “I’ve only been here two minutes and I was watching it all the time.  “Dude, you were passed standing out for ten minutes.   You’ve been here half an hour.”  “I didn’t fuck up your outboard.”  “We’ll talk about it tomorrow when you might remember the conversation.”

He hoped in his boat full bored it out, rocked all the boats in the slips and went home.

Great.  I’m sure I’m never gonna collect from this fuckstick.  Actually, usually he is a great guy.

I returned to my seat.  “Yeah, I saw it smash into your boat, but don’t get me involved, XXXX is a good friend of mine.”  Two other people, who had come to warn me went on at length about the boat smashing into me.  I got it I saw the damage.

Thanks, Dog

Two chicken thighs and drumsticks roasting in the oven.  I opened to the door took two steps to get a meat thermometer and Jessica ran through the front door, stood on the door, tipping the stove, scattering a greasy tray and chicken legs onto the floor, bending the shelf hooks, causing the glass burner cover to come crashing down, ripping the charger cord out of my laptop, which fortunately did not crash to the floor and ripping the outlet of the wall

Now We Know

I went to the closest resort to my house last Tuesday, Los Secretos, a wonderful place on a hill with panoramic views. with charming.  I met all the staff, hell I knew them already.  A woman named Lindsey had her hand splinted.  “What happened?”  “I punched somebody.” I pried no further.

Today I was at Casa Verde talking to some guy.  He told me his head was sore as some woman had punched him in the head.  “What the hell?”  “Yeah, we were at the Bookstore and Dave offered to pay a woman $100 to punch someone in the head and I volunteered.  “And your head hurts?”  “Yeah, she’s really buff, a surfer. “Lindsey Buchanan?”  “Yeah.”  “Sweet little Lindsey?”

“She knocked out one guy, 6’3″ and 260 pounds.” It’s Bocas, the truth is elusive, perhaps extinct, but anything is possible.

I don’t think they sell books at the bookstore.  The shelves are full of books.  But the drinks start flowing heavily before noon.  It’s a locals place, for professional drinkers and Canadians only.  Dave is … well words escape me.

Fat Tuesday

Crawl off to town.  Nobody has a prop.  Electricity out, may as well check out Los Secretos.  “Don (the owner), just ordered a pizza for his wife and left without it, do you want a free pizza?”  Hanging out with Canadians and locals.  No rooms are being rented yet.

Visit some friends, back to Los Secretos for a sunset burger and then back home.  Nice quiet day.  One of the busiest days of the year and the electricity was out from 9 AM to well after I went to bed.

Loma Partida – Day 3

Jeb, in his infinite kindness offered to take the girl I escorted out here for a day of snorkeling.   Dude, the appropriate thing to do is discuss this with the guy who brought her.  I wouldn’t have objected but not doing so is pretty sleazy.

We headed out to Rana Azul (blue frog) in Tierra Oscura on the mainland, way out of town.  This is “church” for the old gringos an excuse to eat a little mediocre pizza, consume massive amounts of alcohol, and shoot the shit.

Returning to the boat checking my email the power went out throughout the boat.  The inverter, which converts the battery power to alternating current tripped a circuit breaker.  A smell of burning wires filled the salon.  Scott shut off all the circuit breakers, reset the inverter and turned them on one at a time.  Something in the galley.  All appliances were unplugged and it still tripped.  Must be a short in the outlet.  To make things worse, why would it trip the inverter without tripping the circuit breaker?   To be fixed another day.  You know even if there wasn’t a newly discovered rule that women could not live aboard the boat, this is too much for me to deal with.  Three days on the boat and three non trivial problems.

Where lies the truth? Does anyone know the facts?

    •  Do you think Solarte can sustain 4 or 5 deluxe over the water cabins in front of my house? The east end of Solarte is getting more and more attention, due in no small part to Los Secretos.
  • 8 hours ago

    Xxxxx  Xxxxxx

    • No The new rules for building over the water with the taxes and requirements from Maritimo make it very very difficult for in this close to town.

      I am positive that if you present your business plan as a small resort you should be able to make it happen.

    • bocas del Toro is no.1 on the government’s tourism master plan because of the potential for ecotourism that according to tourism experts is seen more growth than beach tourism which I still don’t understand….
    • ARAP the Aquatic Resources Department overseas everything that has to do with water resources in Panama.
    • start by presenting a letter requesting an inspection in front of your property, they might ask you for business proposal and will have to explain how will handle solid, liquid, and septic waste.
    • Luis in Almirante would lead you to the Director for Bocas del Toro that is based in Almirante.
    • The Maratime Authority will have to come and perform an inspection too.
    • The Environmental office will perform an inspection as well.
    • The Ministry of Health will approve your plumbing and sewer.
    • The Fire Department will approve your electric system.
    • Building and permit to occupy the houses will be granted by the Bocas del Toro Municipality.

Loma Partida – Day 2

Eladio showed up at Scott’s boat at the appointed hour in my boat, an overnight usage to return home has turned into a multiple day affair.  The boat was filled with children and women and one worker.  What happened to the eight guys that were going to be clearing land?   They took their cayucos.  Eladio was now offering transport and shuttle services on my boat, second time I lent my boat out in a month that this happened.  When will I learn?   Charlotte left with them with the intention of participating in the machete work

Scott was heading into town to tend to some business and Ken and I tagged along for the ride.  Lunched at Gringos, the only Tex-Mex place in town.  Their killer margaritas primed the pump for two while I simply rehydrated with water.

I bought a used prop for only $20 more than the price written on the prop.   A new aluminum prop is $125, I bought an overpitched one for $100.  But it is far better than replacing my whole lower unit which would require taking the unit off, shipping to the Pacific, waiting interminably, shipping it back and having it reinstalled.  I am sure I am going to drop my top end four or five knots while running at far higher RPMs.   Scott went to check on a boat he was renting out to some coke head.   While renting this boat the lower unit off the outboard had been stolen along with all the gear on the boat.

We then went to check out an inflatable that was for sale by my neighbors at the Garden of Eden.  This tiny boat with a 50 hp moved significantly slower than my boat even with the engine wound out.  Nope, this isn’t going to work.  The Garden of Eden is a tiny resort, with but three cabins on a spec of land, at most three eighths of an acre, but it is wonderfully landscaped and has 270 degree spectacular views.   Many cuba libre doubles were consumed over the course of 90 minutes.  Again I stuck with water. The happy hour commander had primed the pump. Eladio called to say that the boat wouldn’t start.  He had consumed about $60 in gas while running his little taxi service and depleted the tank.   He was advised that there was a five gallon tank of spare fuel, to put it in the tank and pump the priming bulb. No good deed goes unpunished. About four o’clock we headed back around the east end of Solarte, across the bay and back to Scott’s boat.

Upon return I was teased by my boat mates, “Surely Jeb wouldn’t have left your ‘girlfriend’ on the boat by herself.”  with a nudge, nudge, wink, wink.  Charlotte was sunning on the front deck of the boat and shameless Jeb had done little more than deliver a quart of water.   Put a cute 21 year old girl with a bunch of men in their mid fifties in a sparsely populated area and I guess it’s each man to himself.     Charlotte had spent the day with the Indian workers who were clearing the land I bought.  They did not seem impressed to have a girl doing manual labor and they certainly weren’t going to entrust here with a  machete,  but they relegated her to gathering the cut grass, sticks and saplings.

We walked into the salon and Scott immediately streamed forth a torrent of expletives, announcing that the boat had lost 500 gallons of water in our absence.  Charlotte and I sat in the salon while Scott checked out the boat.  No, no faucets had been left on.  Well at least we were not accountable.  I got my flashlight, Scott went down in the bilge and after half an hour found a hose had blown off a 5 micron water filter.   The hose had been clamped to a 3/8″ copper pipe fitting with no serations to facilitate grip.   The water pump was far too hot to touch maybe it burned out running dry.   The generator was fired up and the 20 hour process of refilling the tanks began.

We all stripped down to our skivvies, excepting Charlotte who donned a swimsuit and refreshed ourselves in the clear water.  Charlotte and I headed off for shore, but the water became very shallow and I was getting cut up by the coral so we returned.  That girl can swim!  Turns out she is on a swim team.

Dinner was beef tips and lobster tails, cole slaw and yucca.   We ate to the point of bursting and didn’t even start on the giant pot of crabs.  A quick clean up and for some reason I was ready to crash at nine.  Not wanting to consume the precious water I didn’t shower.

I woke up this morning (Sunday) to find that my dry peeling hands had improved enormously overnight.  One would think that salt water would dehydrate, but this has not been my experience, it seems to work wonders for the skin.  My legs are brown, with pink patches in the recovering areas and still a few scaly and scabby areas but it is nowhere near the freak show of three weeks ago.   I can flex my left foot maybe an inch and a half.   Recovery is steady and I am pleased with the rate.  For a week I wondered if I could ever walk normally again, now there is hope.

With but one day to seek accommodations here, I might find myself reneging on renting out my house. If this proves necessary, I will house the volunteers until such time as they can find another place to rent.

Carnivale ends on Wednesday after which the Ngobe Indians will probably block the roads precluding delivery of fuel and food to Bocas for a long time.   When things get desperate hopefully staples will be shipped out from Colon.

Internet Radio

Got an iPhone?   Get Tunein radio app and give http://www.opsinjoor.be/page.php?id=1 a shot.  We have had it on non stop for the last two days.   Some announcements in Dutch, but mostly American music from the 60s excellent mix of songs you probably haven’t heard in decades.